Letters
by LexieBelikova
Summary: Letters between Dimitri and Rose. The cabin scene happened but anything after didnt :)
1. Chapter 1

Dear Rose,

Ive been debating how to do this for a while now, and though this probably isnt the best way... it is the easiest...

Im leaving.

Im going home, to Baia.

I know its out of the blue, but its something I feel I need to do.  
After everything thats happened I think its best that we are apart for a while so that we can sort through our... feelings.

What happened in the cabin shouldnt have, I shouldnt have let my emotions overpower my self control.  
You were my student and I was your mentor, thats how it should have been. What happened was a mistake, one that could have cost us both dearly if anyone was to find out.

Im sorry if I led you on, It wasnt my intention and for that I sincerely apologise.

I have handed my mentor responsibilities over to the only other guardian I feel I can trust to train you to be the best guardian that I know you can be, Guardian Petrov will train you from now on.

I will still be Lissas Guardian, but not until she has graduated and left the academy.

Until then,

Goodbye Rose.

-D


	2. Rose

Dear Dimitri,

Really? Thats how you choose to leave?

I wake up to find a letter on the floor by my door, signed from you... what kind of bullcrap is that?

You couldnt even say goodbye?

I ran all the way to the front gate in barefeet, only to be told that you had left last night.  
Im sure the guardians stationed there thought I was crazy, I stood there for ages just staring. My mind wouldnt believe that you could do that to me, that you would just up and leave like that... I thought you were better than that.

If it wasnt for Lissa getting worried Im pretty sure I would have stood there all day. Thankfully she didnt actually come looking for me, I made it back to my room and locked myself inside before she could see me.  
I dont want anyone to see me like this.

You said our time in the cabin shoudnt have happened? You said it was a mistake?

It would be less painful if you had just staked me in the heart. You used me, I was nothing to you, nothing but a free score. And I fell for it, I fell for you. I should have known it would never work out, but I was naive and stupid, I thought you were different, I thought you loved me like I love you...

I guess not...

Well, you know what? screw you Dimitri. I hope youre happy in Russia. Stupid arctic wasteland.

-R


	3. Dimitri

Dear Rose,

Im sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am.

You should hate me for what Ive done, I hate me for what Ive done to you.

I just hope that maybe with time you will come to see that it really is for the best and that you can forgive me... one day.

But dont you ever think I used you. It wasnt like that and you know it. You were more than just a one night stand to me,I cared about you...

I still care about you, but its not right for me to, thats the whole reason I left...

we cant be anything more, its not right, not when Im so much older... Do you understand?

Anyway,

Theres still 5 months until graduation, thats 5 months for you to train and practice. you need to be the best... For Lissa.

-D


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Dimitri,

You really think I believe that? If you had really cared about me then you wouldnt have left. You wouldnt have left me here alone.

You know, I havent been to practice since you left, that was almost two weeks ago now. I havent been to any of my classes either. I cant.

I cant bring myself to get out of bed. Lissa brings me food and tries to get me to talk, she still has no idea why Im acting like this, and I dont plan on telling her, so dont worry about that.

I feel like Im broken Dimitri, its like you took half of me with you when you left. I feel sick, my head aches alot and Im always so tired.

I know you thi its wrong but... I miss you.

-Rose


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Rose,

Please dont be like that, Please dont let my foolish actions ruin your chance to be great.  
I left so that you could concentrate, so that you could focus on becoming the best, the strongest and fiercest of guardians. Its what you always wanted, for Lissa.

Do It for her if you wont do it for me...

I thought I should let you know, I recieved a call yesturday about a Guarding Position... Its with another of the Royal families, Ive thought about it carefully and decided I will take it.  
The only catch is that its going to involve lots of traveling so I may not have time to write as often as I have been...

So Please Rose, Please promise me you will get out of your room and train. Live your life Rose, have fun with your friends... I will see you again one day soon, but I dont want you moping around after me.

Please Rose...

-D


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Rose,

Its been 2 months since my last letter. Ive been travelling around different academies all over the place with my charge, helping out with the new defensive magic classes being introduced, have you heard about that?

Im sorry I havent written sooner, I have heard how you are getting on though, Alberta has called me a couple of times.  
Im glad you decided to carry on training. She says you are doing extremely well, you're almost top of your class already?

Im proud of you. I knew you could do it.

I forgot to tell you that you can still write to me, just send them to my family in Baia and they will get it to me.  
Im only going to be traveling for another couple of months, untill just after your graduation.

-D


	7. Chapter 7

Dear Dimitri,

I havent written to you because I havent known what to say.

What do you expect me to say? Im good? Im happy? Im moving on with my life, like you told me to?

Those would be lies, And I cant do that.

You are the one person I just cant lie to, I cant pretend to be those things when Im not. Im still broken, Im still hurting... more now, than when you left...

I havent been doing well, Ive been taking Lissas darkness from her and using my training to let it out... But for some reason its affecting me more now, Ive been sick alot lately and Its getting harder to hide it, Lissa already has a feeling something really isnt right with me. She doesnt know Ive still been taking her darkness.

Oh, and to answer your question. Yes, I have heard about the defensive magic. Ive heard who is leading it too... Its all Christian talks about. He also mentioned how Tasha has been ecstatic ever since YOU agreed to be her guardian.

You werent going to tell me were you?

I guess thats why you told me to just carry on with my own life... because youre carrying on with yours... with her.

I know I have no right to be jealous, I have no right to care.  
So I wont.

I think its best if we dont write anymore Dimitri, youre obviously moving onto someone else and it only hurts me to hear from you.

so...

Goodbye.

-R


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Rose,

I didnt tell you because Its nothing like that. Ive told you before I dont like her that way, I want nothing from her. Its just an assignment until Lissa has graduated. Im still going to be her guardian.

Remember when I told you why we cant be together? You agreed with me, that if we were together then we wouldnt be able to protect Lissa properly, I still cant risk that and I know you wouldnt want to either.

But Rose, Believe me when I say that even though we cant be together, there will never be another women who holds my heart like you do.

-D


End file.
